As I near my 38th week of pregnancy, it has occurred to me that I am in bondage to my scale. I probably weigh myself 4-5 times a day. Why? I have always struggled with my weight and am a huge yo-yo'er and being pregnant has just added the extra pressure. Unfortunately, this 3rd pregnancy has been a rough one from conception. I have little-to-no appetite but if I can muster up the courage and energy to cook a meal, I'm usually gagging my way through it or dry heaving in the bathroom. Long story short, I have gained around 10 lbs total. Don't freak out on me- my OB is not worried about this and I am assured to have a good 7 pounder when the time comes. Herein lies my problem however.... In the past week, according to my home scale I have put on 5 lbs. OUCH! This terrifies me. I have scooted by oh so carefully in gaining 2-3 lbs a month (well that is after I stopped puking my brains out at month 7) and now that I'm reaching the end and have patted myself on the back for setting myself up to have no postpartum weightloss depression- my body starts packing on the pounds! What a cruel sick joke (insert several &%#* choice words)!
But it has got me thinking. I am a slave to my scale. It rules my day, my thoughts, my self confidence. In lieu of this discovery, I am taking immediate action. While I am in the hospital pushing my 7 something pounder out of my lady parts, I plan to have my closest friend retrieve the *scale of self-pity* dun dun dun, and hide it from me....wait for it..... a YEAR! That's right a year. No known addiction cures itself over night, or week, or month or sometimes years. And since I will be at my weakest coming home from the hospital, the most anxious to see how much weight I dropped during delivery, the best strategy is for me not to have that option. And even further so, I want to get to a place in my life where my health determines how I feel about myself. Where the way my clothes fit and how my pre-maternity jeans will look as I put them on determines the smile on my face- not the number on the scale. If I focus on eating for energy and nutrition for myself and my new bundle (ie breastfeeding) instead of worrying about whether or not I will drop those 5 lbs this week maybe I will finally SUCCEED at my weight loss goals and lose the weight without the nasty scale battle.
So here is to my last few weeks (days? fingers crossed for early delivery!) with my scale and to the path I CHOOSE to take without it!
Barefoot- bc weighing yourself with shoes always pack at least 2 lbs on you- and fighting heartburn:
Ashley
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